So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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