Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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