Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
her facebook's as public as her vagina
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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