tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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