smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
