I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The adults are the big ones right?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
