Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
