My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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