If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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