maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
