so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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