either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
