Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize