dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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