So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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