It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
