We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
