Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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