I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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