I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
