guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize