I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Someone signed my nipple.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
