the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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