I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
