awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
