just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
