we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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