i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
