Im at strip club and am horny
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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