Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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