I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
