You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize