Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
