Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
