I wish I could teleport
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Pooping to opera.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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