? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
