there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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