I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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