Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
