id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I love having hate sex.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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