There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
