i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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