I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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