So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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