It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
