I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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