What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
