I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize