sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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