I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
