So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
