And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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