i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
