Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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