Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
