And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
