He is an equal opportunity slut.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
