The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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