Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
