my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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