I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
