I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
