a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just made my gag reflex go away.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
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Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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