please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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