I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
