GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
