Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i dont even know how to be here
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
