google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize