For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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