The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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